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If your girlfriend still wants to talk, she may be hoping for a reconciliation. It's common to reach out after a breakup, but knowing how to respond is tricky, says Jennifer Langhinrichsen-Rohling et al. To do this, figure out whether your ex girlfriend is confused, wants to reunite, is avoiding the pain sitll separation or simply has unresolved questions.
Breaking up is complex and, usually, it's a difficult decision. The two of you may have been close -- or even best friends -- so for her, the thought of losing the friend she has in you may be disorientating.
On her way home she could have driven past the restaurant where you had your first date, and it could have triggered a memory. She may be looking for some kind of confirmation that she has to let you go.
Perhaps she is hoping to reconcile. You may be too, if you are answering her calls.
If so, step back and assess the quality of your previous relationship with her. Think about important things that may have ended your relationship like too much possessiveness, dissimilar interests and lack of support, which are the top three reasons for breakups, says Leslie Baxter in the classic study in the "Journal of Personal and Social Relationships. In fact, once you break up the first time, then you are more likely to continue to break up and reunite, reports a study by Amber Vennum js Who is still up and wants to talk.
Another reason she could be calling is that she wants to be friends. If, however, it is very soon after the breakup it is possible that she has not dealt with the emotions surrounding your parting.
Being friends may be a good way of avoiding that grief. For example, if she calls you to share frustrations about her work day or begins talking to you as though nothing happened, she may be using you as an emotional crutch.Discreet Married In Japan
If you are not interested in this kind of relationship with her, keep the conversations short and stop answering her calls. A breakup can be difficult to accept, even when it was mutually agreed upon.
She may feel there are conversations that still need to be had for her to be able to move on. Getting through a relationship change such as a breakup can be difficult for some partners and communicating js can lead to closure.
This could allow her to move on, suggests Rene Dailey et al.
Nina Edwards holds a doctorate in clinical psychology and has been writing about families and relationships since She has numerous publications in scholarly journals and often writes for relationship websites as well. Edwards is a university lecturer and practicing psychologist in New York City. Gift for a Girlfriend Turning It's an Emotional Crutch Another reason she could be calling is that she wants to be friends.
She's Seeking Closure A breakup can be difficult to accept, even when it was mutually agreed upon. Our Everyday Video.
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References Communication Quarterly: Transversing the Transitions Journal of Violence and Victims: Breaking Up is Hard To Do: Journal of Social and Personal Relationships: Trajectories of Relationship Disengagement. About the Author Nina Edwards holds a doctorate in clinical psychology and has been writing about families and relationships since